If you feel like you’re hard to love, it’s probably true!

I️ haven’t had too much time to write these past couple of days, but something has been lingering on my mind for the past week. Ironically, 4 years ago, it wouldn’t have been something to cross my mind. In fact, I️ was living life without rules, no boundaries, nothing. Although, I️ thought I️ was that “morally disciplined, church-going, innocent girl”, now I️ know that I️ was really just a gullible teenager who assumes the whole world was a bed of roses, or maybe I️ say that now because only now do I know that it is not, well, for the most part.

I️ hated when people try to be “psychological” with me, I️ still kind of do. Don’t ask me “how does that make you feel?”, don’t tell me what you think I️ should do – I’ve learned the hard way that we NEED each other. When people say “love yourself first”, it really used to annoy me. Like, do you think I️ don’t love myself, how dare you say that? I️ can admit it now, it’s okay, that I️ never did. Now that I️ know what it means to be truly accepting and loving yourself, I️ realize that I️ totally hated myself during my teenage years. A lot of you could probably say the same thing, these were the years we were figuring out who we wanted to be and how we wanted to be seen. It’s okay.

Now that I️ have a better understanding of what it means and why it’s important, I️ need to share with whoever is battling with loving and accepting themselves. This is not me telling you what do; if you’re like the old me, see this as an insight, an understanding, a life matter, a relationship issue, to why loving yourself is important.

If you’ve ever been on an airplane, you’ve probably been put under the torture of the cabin crews’ long speech regarding safety. Safety is important, and if you’re as Acrophobic as I️ am, you probably listened to the whole speech attentively and heard something along the line of “If we ever need oxygen, because of air pressure, the masks will pop down, make sure to put yours on before helping your kids and others.” Emphasis – YOU, YOURS, FIRST, BEFORE! Just think about that as you read on.

Loving yourself means accepting yourself, your differences, your flaws, your beauty, your past, your present, your pain, your good, your bad, your ugly, your creativity, and if you are like me, the absence thereof. It means taking care of, not only your mind and soul, but your physical body, spa treatment, exercising, eating right, healthy relationships. HOW CAN YOU ASK ANYONE TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS FOR YOU IF YOU CANNOT DO THEM FOR YOURSELF, THAT IS SELFISH. How is anyone able to understand how you want all these done if you do not show them how you need it done!! I do not eat fried eggs – Nigerian style, I HATE it, but it is such a common dish that a lot of people assume that almost everyone eats. I like my egg scrambled, please, and I make it differently too. No one can make my eggs right, unless I show them how. No one is able to love you, unless you show them how by loving yourself.

This is probably a cliché post. You hear it, You see it, You scroll past it, but have you ever actually given it a thought, that, maybe the only reason you feel so “unlovable”, is because you have not shown anyone the way to love you. Remember to love the real you, your real self, not the cover, not the mask, but the person behind all that. This could take weeks, months, and or even years, but the first and most important part of building any human relationship is beginning to fall in genuine love with oneself.

Ephesians 5:29 “For no one has ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, as the Lord does the church.”

2 responses to “If you feel like you’re hard to love, it’s probably true!”

  1. Wow, I’m glad I read this because I have been battling with self-love for a long time and still I am. I am always want to have someone to filling the love for me. I have settled so much that I don’t even know my worth/value so thank you for posting this. I am still learning how to accept all my flaws

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading! I️ think everyone is dealing with this one way or the other and it’s a constant decision every day. But you’ve got it! 😘😘😘


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