Dear Teen Mom

You never thought it’ll happen to you, until you are in that bathroom stall, sitting on the toilet cover, staring down at that pregnancy test result with the two thick lines that reads positive. It feels like your life has just been thrown down the drain with, maybe, one night of fun.

Yes, it might be true, you have made a decision that’ll impact your life forever. Yes, it’s true, you birthed a human, you will be raising another life. Mom’s probably disappointed, Dad is not home. Yes, it might be true, you’ve probably heard it all before. The society tells you that you have failed; the misconceptions and stigmatization drags you down, makes you ashamed of being a mother. You start to lose friends; those who said they’d be there, left, typical. No one wants to have “the mom” with a baby at their parties. You lose sleep; there is not enough hours in the day, there is not enough help in the world. You can’t work, so you don’t have money. You give up on things you used to love; getting your hair done every weekend, having a Friday night-out with the girls. Lucky enough if your parents let you stay in their home, otherwise you’re over-worked with the responsibility of looking for a place, convenient, affordable, close to school – if you still go, or work, if you find a daycare. Pressing exhaustion permeating through your body in the absence of sleep.

Moral of the story, raising a child is hard. Raising a child, as a teenager or young adult, could be even tougher.

Recently, I met a bunch of 15 and 16 year olds with their first or even second children, their first questions to me being a facilitator of their group were regarding my experience and how or if i qualify to speak to them at all. I could tell you nothing about it, I have no form of experience to share, No professional knowledge can make up for the joy, love, pain and strength of motherhood, but what I can tell you that No, it isn’t true, that this is all there is to you. No, it isn’t true, that your child is the end of your life. You might have not intended for it to happen, at least not now. You probably had your life all planned out, but when was the last time life went with our plans? No, it is not true; none of the stigma matters now, none of the societal stigmatization and misconceptions matters now. The absence or presence of the baby’s father does not even matter as much as the well-being of the child now. Even though, you might feel lonely because your life is now filled to the brim with diapers, breastfeeding, and endless hours of walking the floor with a baby, leaving little time or energy for anything else, all of that does not matter now. You will do whatever it takes to take care of your child, because you love it more than anyone can ever imagine and that is all that matters now.

These young women have taught me a lot in the course of our meetings. Nothing beats the tremendous amount of strength they have, individually. They have been through all the struggles of being teenage mothers; most of them have been torn between wanting to be morally accepted by marrying their child’s father and wanting the best for themselves. Some are dealing with the pain of seeing their love life shatter at the feet of “the new girlfriend”, “their replacement”. Some have been kicked out of their home and living from place to place. But, with all these, the pure joy they share about their children and motherhood is priceless. Their love is as fierce as the mother bear protecting her cubs, they will not give it up for anything in the world.

You will defy societal odds and raise your child with the strength of a mother that is greater than natural laws, a hurricane in its perfect power. You will be strong because “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on” – Maria Shriver. You are going to be one heck of a mom because you’d realize one day that these sleepless nights, long days and responsibilities you hadn’t prepared enough for, was not the end of your life, but rather, the beginning.

“Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain—your life will never be the same.” – Catherine Jones

“Babies are bits of star-dust blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth for she has held a star.” – Larry Barretto.

Hey, I’m glad you chose life.

Resources:

Dallas Pregnancy Resource Center – (214) 369-6281

Thrive Women’s Clinic – (214) 905-9068

The Turn Around Agenda – (972) 228-0872

Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” – Isaiah 1:18

One response to “Dear Teen Mom”

  1. What a beautiful piece!

    Like

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